I understand where the embarrassment comes from when there’s another news story about how bad Africa and Africans are, I used to be a champion of The Africa They Don’t Show You. I refused to give weight to the negative media we get as a continent, insisting it’s a product of anti-blackness and not a reflection of our reality.
Then I actually started living on the continent.
I love being black. I love my skin, I love my hair. I love Ghanaian music and fashion, and I love our food. But it would be a blatant lie to state that I am proud of what we are as a society. And I have yet to meet someone who is. Continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different result isn’t going to cut it anymore, so at what point do we start to question our belief systems and social practices? Why do we cling to them as if they have done something for us?
And I get it, I really do. Our history was interrupted, and because we didn’t get a chance to advance on our own terms, we tend to see suggested change as an attack on Africanness, believing that modernization and westernization are the same when they are not. All cultures change with time passing because of new knowledge and technology, but for too long we have found ourselves clinging to the few “truly” African things we have left – no matter how harmful or regressive. It’s not doing us any favors, and it’s time to look inward and affect the change we can.
So as we watch ‘Sex for Grades’: Undercover in West African Universities tonight, I humbly suggest that we put aside our embarrassment and instead understand that this is a reality in our educational systems, and in all parts of our society. Yes, sexual assault happens all over the world; but our outdated ideals on what respect should look like, how women should be treated, and what deserves to be updated and improved has allowed a particularly insidious — particularly African — form of sexual violence to go on for too long.
Can we face this truth and decide to change? Or will we continue to cover our eyes and to complain about the potential we could have if we changed?
If you want to step into our potential and make it our reality, the only way to do so is to acknowledge what we are doing wrong and choose to do it differently. That’s it. Anything else is more of the same old cycle that isn’t working for any of us.